Failure....

Failure has been on my mind a lot lately. The division I am with is closing down or at least stripping down to its barest bones. Its discouraging on two counts. 1) I was the one who did the due diligence when the parent company bought this division. 2) I have spent 10 months here and made, as far as I can see, no noticeable difference.

Its discouraging...or faith building...hmm..maybe both.

The due diligence I did in the beginning was rushed. It was not a full due diligence process and I certainly lacked experience. Are these excuses? or reasons? I am not sure...my reflection on this is that I will certainly be more cynical and cautious of any deals in the future, an invaluable lesson if you ask me.

The second part of this is that I have made no difference. While I have done my job for the most part, messed up a couple times, had a few small successes, nothing fundamentally changed. My reflection on this is that I wasn't pro-active enough, I didn't take enough risks. I was so scared of grabbing the controls of the plane and knocking it off course that I let the plane crash.

Experience is the best teacher for knowing what to do in what situations. Part of my post yesterday suggested seeking out new experiences. Every new experience gives you a better reference point for the next new one.

Maybe failure is bad word to use. Correlation and causation are tough things to separate, in this case, I will attribute a little to both and move on. My next role I will be successful. If I don't believe this then I certainly wont be.